I can’t believe how fast the last 5 years have gone. It seems like just a short time ago that I was learning how to first nurse Iris, and dealing with the pain and struggle involved. I never thought I’d stick it out so long, and definitely not for 2 years each child. But now I find myself on the other end, feeling very sentimental and in a way wishing it never had to end. I really feel lucky that I had the support and good fortune to be able to breastfeed my babies. There really is nothing like it. How else can you calm, comfort, protect, and feed a baby with just one magic tool? Once you’re in practice, there’s not even any accessories needed, nothing to purchase or warm up, just pure instant gratification. Ahh… what will I do now?
As I watch Iris out in the “real world” of kindergarten, negotiating her way around other kids and personalities, I realize just how little I can control. She’s got to decide whether to stand up for herself or not, speak up or be silent. And I can’t always be there to kiss it better.
At the end of October I decided the best time to wean Robyn was when I left for 2 days for my college reunion. While I was gone, Robyn did just fine without me. But Sunday morning when she saw me, she begged for “side 2” (her word for nursing), “I NEEEED it mommmmeeeee!” Oh, I felt so bad. I really really wanted to give in. I cried along with her and talked about how sad we both felt. But if not now, when?
I told Iris about the difficult thing Robyn was going through, and she gave me the best words of wisdom. “Mommy, I still want it too. But I don’t ask for it because I know you’ll say no.”
Yes, that’s what I needed to do with Robyn. Clearly and definitively say no, so she wouldn’t get confused and wonder when I really meant what I said. Thank you Iris! I’ve now officially weaned Robyn, and we all survived somehow.